So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize