do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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