Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize