Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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