You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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