OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
