In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
i now understand why vodka
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