Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
