sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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