So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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