I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
