I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
