I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
