Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
