Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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