I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
