i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
she looked like the before picture.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Randomize
