I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
then he tried to convert me to islam
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
