Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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