So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I need to sanitize my soul.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
