i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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