I got chris browned last night
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹ï¸
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