dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
