my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
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