I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
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