Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
