her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
