idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
