Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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