I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I currently don't understand fingers.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
