Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
