So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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