just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
