I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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