think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
