Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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