In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
