That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
