Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize