Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I think my moral compass just broke
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
