after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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