Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
