Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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