i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
