I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
i came on her dog
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
