You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
