I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
