with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Mom said you looked used
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
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