I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Randomize
