what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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