watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
