im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
