atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
