Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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